Don't Wait to Ask Important Questions

There's nothing like a health problem (or even just a scare) to make you seriously think about (and regret) all the things you might have done (or didn't do that you should have) to have caused you to be in the situation you now face.

You think about the bad foods and drinks you've consumed. You curse yourself for having ever tried a cigarette. You remember all the times you decided to not workout when you could have.

You think about you're odds of being ok. When I was in college, there was a PSA running that said one out of eight women would get breast cancer. At the time, I lived with seven other girls. That meant one of us would get it.

Last month I had a mammography. A few days later I received a call that I needed to come back for additional scans. I was told this wasn't necessarily bad news and I shouldn't panic. I took the woman at her word because I know this isn't uncommon.

Today I went in for the additional scans. When I got into the room with the technician, she had images up from my last two mammograms. She pointed at dots and shaded areas that she said were different on my two previous scans. I started to feel nervous.

I had the additional scans and then went into a waiting room with six other woman. I thought about that PSA and wondered if my odds had gotten better or worse. Odds were that one of us was going to get bad news. I thought about my mother, and other women I knew who had breast cancer.

I got called in for a third round of scans. When I returned to the waiting room after that, there were only two other women left. My odds were getting worse.

It had actually been two years since my last mammogram. I didn't get one last year. Why? Why didn't I make the time? Was I working? Shopping? Looking at Facebook? Walking my dog? What was so important that I couldn't make the time to make sure I am healthy? Was it that I workout and eat well and think I'm invincible? Was it inconvenient? Did I not think it was important?

As panic sets in, you start to make deals with God / the universe / yourself. You promise if you're ok you'll give up soda / booze / cigarettes / partying / staying up late; you'll exercise; you'll change your diet; you'll do the things we know we're supposed to do but don't.

Next, I got called in for an ultrasound. A nice technician took me into the room and complimented me on my shoes. She took quite a while to do the procedure. When she was done, she started talking about my shoes again and I knew I was in trouble. She said the doctor would be in soon.

The doctor and technician returned together and said the doctor was going to redo the ultrasound. Me and my shoes needed to stay a while longer. No surprise.

Afterwards I sat waiting to meet with the doctor to discuss what they saw. I started to think about how my life would change if I had breast cancer. Would I act differently? Would I change my habits?The things I'm pursuing? The things I'm not pursuing? Who I'm spending time with?

These are such important questions—questions that we should ask ourselves NOW. If you knew you had limited time left, what would you do? What would you stop doing? What would you wish you had done? How would you change? Who would you spend time with? The answer to those questions should help bring clarity about what's important to you and what you should focus on.

As for me, I'll be going through an ultrasound again in six months to look at some "suspicious lumps". But, I'll be thinking about those questions this weekend and working on making any changes necessary to lead me to a life that will end with minimal regrets—I hope you'll do the same.

Surround Yourself with the Right People for Success

What if your best friends were Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg & Oprah Winfrey? Do you think your life would be different?

What if your best friends were Lindsey Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Kanye West, Lamar Odom & Charlie Sheen? Do you think your life would be different then?

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Think about who those people are for you. They have a huge impact on your life.

They may be your friends, family, co-workers, people you’re on a committee with, parents of your children’s friends, people in a class you’re taking,

All of these people can affect what you eat, where you go to eat, what you wear, if you workout, how you workout, what you do in your free time, your spending habits, what books you read, what activities you have your kids do, your mindset, how successful you are.

If you think about it for a few minutes, I bet you’ll come up with a dozen examples to support this. I think about being in college, living in a suite with 7 other girls. We wound up spending our free time together, eating the same things, wearing the same clothes, watching the same tv shows, joining the same clubs.

Quite frequently, I see how people’s health is affected by their family and friends. I have a client who needs to lose well over 100 pounds. His wife also needs to lose weight, but isn’t taking any action to do so & seems to be sabotaging his weight loss efforts. He’s scheduled to workout with me after work. His wife often makes plans for them to go out to dinner when we are scheduled to workout. Also, he goes upstairs after dinner to avoid being by the kitchen and tempted to eat more. His wife bakes cookies & brings them up to him after he has gone upstairs.

I have another client whom I see in the morning. Recently, she and her friend planned to go into the city for the day. Her plan was to workout and then go into the city. When she arrived for her session, she said her friend was giving her a hard time and was trying to get her to cancel her training session even though she had time to workout before they left. She said it’s hard for her because her friends don’t exercise & they are always trying to get her to blow off working out.

I think about my group of friends. They all exercise. When we’re making plans, working out is often mentioned. If we’re doing something on a Saturday, someone might say, “I’m running a race in the morning” or “I’m taking 9:30 spin class, so by the time I get home, shower & change, I can meet at noon”. Or, when making plans after work, “I want to go for a quick run when I get home, so let’s meet at 8”. We expect exercise to be a part of each other’s schedules. We support it.

We can also be affected by other people’s eating & drinking habits. Again, college life comes to mind. I have memories of people being cheered on to do shots and eating junk food late night.

And, for some reason, people like to push desserts on others. Have you ever tried to say “no thanks” to a piece of birthday cake? People are adamant that you have a piece of their birthday cake. “It’s my birthday! You have to have a piece of cake!”

People you hang out with can affect your mood. When I was working in marketing, I dealt with vendors. There were 2 guys we mainly used for the same thing. One of them was a total downer. Whenever we spoke & I asked “how are you?”, he would sigh & complain about something. The other guy was the exact opposite. When I asked him how he was, he always said, “I’m great!” with much enthusiasm. I knew he wasn’t always great, but he always said he was. And, it always struck me how much nicer it was to talk to him than the other guy.

Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do they have healthy habits? Do they enrich your life? Are they happy? Are they successful? Do you respect them?  

Think about your ideal self—the person you try to be daily, and the one you are working towards becoming. Do the people you surround yourself with support your efforts?  Do they encourage you to take action to become better?

If you answered "yes" to all, great! You’re hanging with the right people!

If you answered "no" to any of the questions, you need to find people who will help you be the best you. There are plenty of them out there! They may not live next door, but there are groups for just about anything these days. And, with social media, it's easy to find like-minded people.

I work alone but want to connect with other people who share my enthusiasm for helping people lead healthy lives, so I attend conferences and join groups on social media with people who share my interests. People post information, questions, struggles, and total strangers responded with answers and support – it’s great! 

There are supportive people out there for you to connect with, it doesn’t matter where you live! You just need to find those people! 

Remember: you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. It’s worth your time and effort to make sure you surround yourself with the right people—people who will help you be your best.