Tips for Enjoying the Summer Without Packing on the Pounds

In some ways it's easy to eat "clean" in the summer—there is an abundance of fruits and vegetables available and grilling is a quick and healthy way to prepare meat and fish.

In other ways, summer poses a big challenge in terms of eating well. There are a lot of parties, happy hours, ball games, water parks, and pool & beach clubs that don't offer a lot of (if any) healthy food options. Instead, they serve a lot of junk & fried food, along with a lot of sugary and alcoholic drinks.

I know after last weekend, I was feeling a few pounds heavier & the summer has just begun. It's easy to get caught up in all-day grazing (& possibly drinking) while you're hanging out at the pool or beach. Before this gets too out of hand, be conscious of it & plan ahead.

If you're eating well all week, you are entitled to a "cheat meal". The problem is, many of us find ourselves in the predicament of being in these situations multiple times a week. I've been hearing this a lot and being asked what to do. So, here are some suggestions:

1) Eat before you go. Eat a healthy meal that fills you up & you'll be less likely to dive into the cheese fries & fried dough as soon as you get wherever you're going.

2) Bring your own food. I realize a lot of these situations are day outings, where a healthy breakfast before you go won't satisfy you for the entire day. In these situations, bring what you can. 

• If you're going to the beach, you can bring food for the day. Pack healthy wraps or pre-packed salads for lunch and fruit & veggies to snack on. 
• If you're going to a party, look for some healthy options (veggies) to fill up a little bit before you head over to the wings. Better yet- bring a healthy dish that you enjoy. If your hosts aren't serving anything healthy, at least you'll have what you brought.
• If you're going to a ball game or water park, you'll have a bigger challenge. You can bring some small snacks (nuts, Kind bar, apple) in your bag. 

3) In cases where you are stuck without your own food:

• Look for a salad. It might not be great, but usually there is some version of a salad available. Choose a vinaigrette dressing if you can.
• Salvage the good stuff. Look for something that contains grilled chicken & eat that with any lettuce or tomato that you can get with it.  Scrape off heavy sauces, cheeses & ditch the accompanying fries (telling them to serve it to you without that stuff is the best option, so it's not tempting you).  If chicken's not an option, do the same with a burger—ditch the bun & fries.
• See if you can find frozen yogurt. While this is more of a desert, it's better than most of the food options at those places.
• Pretzels are probably the best snack option at most of those places: either a big, soft, ball park one with mustard, or pre-packed hard ones.

4) Drink lots of water! Besides helping to keep you hydrated, flushing toxins & boosting your immune system, water increases your metabolism, helps build & repair muscles, and makes you feel full.

5) Stay active! While controlling what you consume is the most important part of controlling your weight, staying active will burn calories. AND, time spent playing tennis, riding your bike,  swimming, etc, will keep you away from those tempting foods & drinks for a while.

Summertime fun may be a challenge to your healthy lifestyle, but YOU CAN ENJOY IT without packing on the pounds! Start these habits now and continue them throughout the year :)

What's Your WHY?

To achieve your goals, you need to stay committed to them. Committed, even though you may feel like you're not progressing, or you've had a setback, or you just don't feel like putting in the effort some days. 

When it comes to our heath & fitness, lack of motivation is at the top of the list of challenges people face. For some, the hardest part of the workout is just making it to the gym.

Unless you have a powerful reason WHY you want to get in shape / lose weight, you're not going to: deprive yourself of your favorite foods and drinks; wake up 2 hours early in the dark and cold and drag yourself to the gym; exercise after you've had a long, tiring day of work. At least not for very long.

One big reason so many people don't achieve their fitness goals is that their goals aren't meaningful enough. Wanting to lose 15 pounds isn't enough to keep you going long-term. WHY do you want to lose 15 pounds? You need a meaningful reason to motivate you.

Is it to fit into clothes that will make you feel sexy? To look good at your reunion or your daughter's wedding? To feel confident at the beach in your bathing suit? To play with your kids without feeling winded?

These are goals you can visualize achieving. These are the things you need to focus on when you don't feel motivated to workout or when someone offers you a piece of cake. These are the things that will keep you going.

The same goes for professional or personal development goals. If you want a promotion but haven't identified why, you'll wind up getting tired of putting in long hours at the office—often at the expense of social events and family time. 

Is it that you want to make more money? Again, ask yourself "Why?" Money alone isn't a strong enough motivator. This may surprise you, but it's not. What's important is what the money means to you. 

Will more money mean you won't have to worry about paying for your child's college tuition? Will it mean you'll be able to replace your old car that's always breaking down? Or, buy a new house? Or, you'll be able to take your dream vacation? Those are motivating reasons to work late.

Think about your goals. Are they meaningful? Have you thought about your "Whys"?

Whatever your goals are, STAY FOCUSED on your "WHYs" and GO ACHIEVE THEM :)

Focus on What You Can Control

Stress often comes from being overwhelmed. And, often we're stressed & overwhelmed about things that are out of our control. Separate what you can control from what you can't.

It helps to write it down. 

Taking care of even small things makes us feel more in control of our situations and less stressed. And, working on things that you can control frequently winds up having unseen effects on things that you thought were out of your control 😀🤔

We Can All Inspire Someone

There are many famous people—past and present—who are inspiring. People who have: stood up to oppression, helped people in need, accomplished great physical feats, overcome huge obstacles to achieve their dreams. Pioneers. Explorers. Inventors. People who did things in spite of their fears. People who didn't give up when things got tough.

We're usually inspired by people who have achieved great things in areas that are of interest to us. As a Personal Trainer, I am inspired by people who are in awesome shape and those who possess incredible athleticism. As a Life Coach, I am inspired by people who help others change their lives. I am also inspired by entrepreneurs, people who have made a successful career change, and by strong, successful women in general.

I can turn on the tv or go online and find plenty of inspiring people. But, I can also pick up the phone and talk to them, or text them, or meet them for lunch. I've known some of them most of my life. Most probably don't even know they've inspired me (my bad for not letting them know), and some were inspiring me before I realized it (that's you, mom).

These people—who are my family & friends—have made their way through tough times, taken risks, faced their fears, conquered their demons, cared for others, put love first. They've struggled, questioned themselves, felt scared, felt alone. But, they didn't give up. They don't give up. They've achieved things without accolades. And, they continue to achieve things without accolades.

These people are good friends, spouses, parents, siblings, children, mentors, leaders. They've inspired me and, without a doubt, others.

We can ALL inspire someone. You probably already do. Keep that in mind and act accordingly :)

Day 5 of the new year. Now it's real.

Kids are back in school. It's time to take the decorations down and get back to doing work (as opposed to spending the day talking about what we did over the holidays).

It's time to get back on a schedule. Get on track to feel better and to accomplishing things so that when we're ringing in 2017, we look back and say, "2016 was a great year!"  Wouldn't that be awesome?

To be healthy and productive, we need to make plans and take action. But, that's not always so easy, is it? I don't think so. It may take time to decide what you really want, who you want to be, and how you're going to achieve these things.

If you're still figuring it out, keep the following things in mind. I point them out because they are things I struggle with. Things I have to remind myself. I’m sure you’ve heard them before and they may seem obvious, but as Brendon Burchard (one of my mentors) says, “Common sense isn’t always common practice.” So, they bear repeating and thinking about.

• Don't compare yourself to others. Not your body, your career, your relationships, your successes, your challenges, your goals. Decide what will make YOU happy.
• Don't look back to determine your path forward. Your past may have shaped who you are, but it does not define your future. And, it really is not too late to change course.
• The things that reap the greatest rewards often seem the most scary, overwhelming, time-consuming. But, don’t cross them off your list of goals too quickly. Consider the rewards, the best-case scenario. Scary and overwhelming doesn’t mean you can’t do it or that it’ll kill you. And, the time will pass anyway. What else are you planning to do with that time? Will it result in great fulfillment?
• Don’t let yourself become paralyzed with indecision. This is one I really fight. I know it stems from wanting to be perfect. And, yes, I know no one is perfect. And, I know there usually isn’t a right and a wrong decision—nothing is so black & white. And, as my mother has told me since I was a child, “To not decide is to decide.” Yes, I know. Just pick something. Make it work. Or, don’t make it work. Fix it. Or, don't fix it. Learn from it and move on.

We want this to be our best year yet, right? Then we've got to make plans, take action, and possibly get out of our own way. I know you can do it. Let's make 2016 the year we all achieve great things :)

Hello December!

December, you snuck up on us—AGAIN!

This is often a stressful time of the year. Suddenly we're struck by how fast the year went and how little time is left. We think about the things that we had planned to do but didn't this year. We think about all the things we need to do before Christmas. We feel overwhelmed.

We need to decorate, buy gifts, wrap gifts, buy new clothes for the parties we'll be attending. We need to grocery shop, cook, and bake. We need to create and send out holiday cards, finalize holiday plans, make an appearance at the kids' school, volunteer at church or local charity, and remember to move that damn elf EVERY night.

We know that something's got to give this month and it's probably going to be our well-being. We accept that. This time of the year is crazy. We don't have time to workout and there are too many tempting foods and drinks to consume. We're stressed and not getting enough sleep. We tell ourselves that we'll just "get through the holidays" and get back on track after the new year.

That's one route to take. It's the route most of us take every December. What if we took a new route this year? Not a COMPLETELY different route, but one that doesn't let us get so far off track.

Each night, make a list of what you need to do the next day. Pick out the top 3 that MUST get done. You have more than three each day? I know; me too. But, do YOU have to all of them? Can you divide tasks with your spouse, sibling, friend? 

What about your kids—are they old enough to do some chores that will alleviate what you need to do? This is the perfect time to get them to help out, as they are anticipating getting rewarded for being "good" in just a few weeks. 

Yes, they will most likely not load the dishwasher, clean up their room, fold the laundry, etc. as you would have. But, guess what? Those are NOT things that need to be done perfectly. Those are not things you need to worry about now (if ever). Do NOT redo what they have done sub-parly. Next time, give them more specific directions or give them another task to do. 

Focus on your priorities, get them done & you'll feel so much better getting into bed. You'll feel much more productive and less stressed than if you had spent the day doing those little tasks and still had the big things hanging over your head.

Do NOT put yourself at the bottom of the priority list each day! Make sure you take care of your health. You'll be even MORE stressed if you get sick and can't do anything on your list! You can do small things: drink lots of water, get enough sleep, stretch or do a short workout.

The next 30 days are going to go by quickly, but they don't need to be a chaotic blur. Stay focused, enlist support and ring in the new year with a smile rather than a sigh of relief :)

Don't Wait to Ask Important Questions

There's nothing like a health problem (or even just a scare) to make you seriously think about (and regret) all the things you might have done (or didn't do that you should have) to have caused you to be in the situation you now face.

You think about the bad foods and drinks you've consumed. You curse yourself for having ever tried a cigarette. You remember all the times you decided to not workout when you could have.

You think about you're odds of being ok. When I was in college, there was a PSA running that said one out of eight women would get breast cancer. At the time, I lived with seven other girls. That meant one of us would get it.

Last month I had a mammography. A few days later I received a call that I needed to come back for additional scans. I was told this wasn't necessarily bad news and I shouldn't panic. I took the woman at her word because I know this isn't uncommon.

Today I went in for the additional scans. When I got into the room with the technician, she had images up from my last two mammograms. She pointed at dots and shaded areas that she said were different on my two previous scans. I started to feel nervous.

I had the additional scans and then went into a waiting room with six other woman. I thought about that PSA and wondered if my odds had gotten better or worse. Odds were that one of us was going to get bad news. I thought about my mother, and other women I knew who had breast cancer.

I got called in for a third round of scans. When I returned to the waiting room after that, there were only two other women left. My odds were getting worse.

It had actually been two years since my last mammogram. I didn't get one last year. Why? Why didn't I make the time? Was I working? Shopping? Looking at Facebook? Walking my dog? What was so important that I couldn't make the time to make sure I am healthy? Was it that I workout and eat well and think I'm invincible? Was it inconvenient? Did I not think it was important?

As panic sets in, you start to make deals with God / the universe / yourself. You promise if you're ok you'll give up soda / booze / cigarettes / partying / staying up late; you'll exercise; you'll change your diet; you'll do the things we know we're supposed to do but don't.

Next, I got called in for an ultrasound. A nice technician took me into the room and complimented me on my shoes. She took quite a while to do the procedure. When she was done, she started talking about my shoes again and I knew I was in trouble. She said the doctor would be in soon.

The doctor and technician returned together and said the doctor was going to redo the ultrasound. Me and my shoes needed to stay a while longer. No surprise.

Afterwards I sat waiting to meet with the doctor to discuss what they saw. I started to think about how my life would change if I had breast cancer. Would I act differently? Would I change my habits?The things I'm pursuing? The things I'm not pursuing? Who I'm spending time with?

These are such important questions—questions that we should ask ourselves NOW. If you knew you had limited time left, what would you do? What would you stop doing? What would you wish you had done? How would you change? Who would you spend time with? The answer to those questions should help bring clarity about what's important to you and what you should focus on.

As for me, I'll be going through an ultrasound again in six months to look at some "suspicious lumps". But, I'll be thinking about those questions this weekend and working on making any changes necessary to lead me to a life that will end with minimal regrets—I hope you'll do the same.

Surround Yourself with the Right People for Success

What if your best friends were Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Mark Zuckerberg & Oprah Winfrey? Do you think your life would be different?

What if your best friends were Lindsey Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Kanye West, Lamar Odom & Charlie Sheen? Do you think your life would be different then?

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Think about who those people are for you. They have a huge impact on your life.

They may be your friends, family, co-workers, people you’re on a committee with, parents of your children’s friends, people in a class you’re taking,

All of these people can affect what you eat, where you go to eat, what you wear, if you workout, how you workout, what you do in your free time, your spending habits, what books you read, what activities you have your kids do, your mindset, how successful you are.

If you think about it for a few minutes, I bet you’ll come up with a dozen examples to support this. I think about being in college, living in a suite with 7 other girls. We wound up spending our free time together, eating the same things, wearing the same clothes, watching the same tv shows, joining the same clubs.

Quite frequently, I see how people’s health is affected by their family and friends. I have a client who needs to lose well over 100 pounds. His wife also needs to lose weight, but isn’t taking any action to do so & seems to be sabotaging his weight loss efforts. He’s scheduled to workout with me after work. His wife often makes plans for them to go out to dinner when we are scheduled to workout. Also, he goes upstairs after dinner to avoid being by the kitchen and tempted to eat more. His wife bakes cookies & brings them up to him after he has gone upstairs.

I have another client whom I see in the morning. Recently, she and her friend planned to go into the city for the day. Her plan was to workout and then go into the city. When she arrived for her session, she said her friend was giving her a hard time and was trying to get her to cancel her training session even though she had time to workout before they left. She said it’s hard for her because her friends don’t exercise & they are always trying to get her to blow off working out.

I think about my group of friends. They all exercise. When we’re making plans, working out is often mentioned. If we’re doing something on a Saturday, someone might say, “I’m running a race in the morning” or “I’m taking 9:30 spin class, so by the time I get home, shower & change, I can meet at noon”. Or, when making plans after work, “I want to go for a quick run when I get home, so let’s meet at 8”. We expect exercise to be a part of each other’s schedules. We support it.

We can also be affected by other people’s eating & drinking habits. Again, college life comes to mind. I have memories of people being cheered on to do shots and eating junk food late night.

And, for some reason, people like to push desserts on others. Have you ever tried to say “no thanks” to a piece of birthday cake? People are adamant that you have a piece of their birthday cake. “It’s my birthday! You have to have a piece of cake!”

People you hang out with can affect your mood. When I was working in marketing, I dealt with vendors. There were 2 guys we mainly used for the same thing. One of them was a total downer. Whenever we spoke & I asked “how are you?”, he would sigh & complain about something. The other guy was the exact opposite. When I asked him how he was, he always said, “I’m great!” with much enthusiasm. I knew he wasn’t always great, but he always said he was. And, it always struck me how much nicer it was to talk to him than the other guy.

Think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do they have healthy habits? Do they enrich your life? Are they happy? Are they successful? Do you respect them?  

Think about your ideal self—the person you try to be daily, and the one you are working towards becoming. Do the people you surround yourself with support your efforts?  Do they encourage you to take action to become better?

If you answered "yes" to all, great! You’re hanging with the right people!

If you answered "no" to any of the questions, you need to find people who will help you be the best you. There are plenty of them out there! They may not live next door, but there are groups for just about anything these days. And, with social media, it's easy to find like-minded people.

I work alone but want to connect with other people who share my enthusiasm for helping people lead healthy lives, so I attend conferences and join groups on social media with people who share my interests. People post information, questions, struggles, and total strangers responded with answers and support – it’s great! 

There are supportive people out there for you to connect with, it doesn’t matter where you live! You just need to find those people! 

Remember: you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. It’s worth your time and effort to make sure you surround yourself with the right people—people who will help you be your best.

What's Important

Tuesday was my 14th wedding anniversary. As I do every year, I looked through photos of what was probably the best day of my life, with mixed emotions.

I see photos of people I'm no longer in contact with, people who have gotten divorced, and people who have died. But, those faces, on that day—along with those of my friends, family, husband and mine—were filled with love, laughter and happiness.

Our wedding took place just 4 days after September 11, 2001. Every one of our guests was affected by the tragedy, but they managed to open their hearts to celebrate our union and life that day. I felt blessed to be alive, in love, and surrounded by people I cared about.

Tragedy usually puts things in perspective. It makes us think about what's really important, what's really NOT important, and what we take (or took) for granted.

After a tragedy or bad diagnosis, we tell our family that we love them, hug them a little longer, and appreciate what we have. We are kind and patient when we otherwise wouldn't be. We have no interest in drama or the people that create it. Superficial things lose meaning. We are mainly concerned with health, well being and basic necessities.

Then, time passes.

Things start to annoy us again. The show we set to record got cut off; our internet is slow; we didn't make it through the light because the driver in front of us wasn't paying attention; the woman in front of us at the grocery store is taking time to look through her bag for exact change; the train was delayed—again.

There are a thousand things every day that we COULD focus on, get distracted by or annoyed about. But, if we are CLEAR about what we want and how we want to interact with others, then we can focus on what's important.

That clarity not only gives us a sense of purpose and identity, but helps guide the decisions we make each day. As choices are presented to us, we can ask ourselves questions like "Will this lead me closer to my goal?", "Is this how I want to express myself?" or simply, "Is this important to me?"

Take some time to think about what's REALLY important to you, the future you want, and how you want to present yourself. It may take time, discipline and work to figure it out and keep it in mind but, with rewards such as satisfaction and joy, I'm pretty sure you'll find it worth it :)

Living a High Performance Life: INFLUENCE

The fifth area of high performance is influence.

No man is an island, as the saying goes. You may have brilliant ideas, but if you don't get support from others, they probably won't ever come to fruition. You need to have influence over your family, friends, co-workers, and possibly strangers to accomplish your goals.

We use influence for little things in our daily lives—to get friends to try a new restaurant; to get your family to go to a movie you want to see.

Think about the person who has had the most influence over you. Why was that person able to influence you? Keep those qualities in mind as you think about an area you'd like to have more influence.

Living a High Performance Life: PRODUCTIVITY

The fourth area of high performance is productivity. Being highly productive is being consistently focused and effective, which means being good at minimizing distractions and maintaining priorities.

There are so many distractions in our lives today and we've been taught that multi-tasking is a good thing. Well, studies have shown that multi-tasking is NOT a good thing. It makes you LESS productive at each of the things that you are trying to do. You can effectively get more done by FOCUSING on 1 thing at a time.

Think about a time when you were being really productive. What were you doing?

I think back to when I was making a career change to become a personal trainer. I had very little time outside my corporate job, but I made very good use of it. I was focused & excited about becoming a trainer; I made becoming a trainer a priority, and I worked really hard at it.

Think about where you are not being productive enough right now. What's the difference between your time of high productivity and now?

What can you do to get back to high productivity?

You may need to re-adjust your priorities; block off time on your schedule; or take steps to eliminate or remove yourself from distractions. This may be a challenge, but in the end, you'll wind up less stressed, getting more done, and feeling better about the way you spend each day :)

Living a High Performance Life: COURAGE

The third area of high performance is courage. This is referring to the courage to: come out of your comfort zone, be decisive with difficult decisions, take bold action, fully express yourself, and take risks.

Everyone has places in their lives they could have more courage.

People avoid taking action for three reasons and they're all fear based:

1. They're worried they may lose something. For example, they want to lose weight, but don't want to stop going out to eat or to Happy Hours with friends.
2. They're worried that something may be too hard. For example, they want to lose weight, but are afraid they won't be able to stick to a diet.
3. They're worried they'll go through the process of doing something and won't get their desired outcome. For example, they're afraid they will deprive themselves of foods they like and torture themselves at the gym, but not lose any weight.

Ask yourself if there are areas in your life that you are backing down from something or someone. 

What's the worst thing that could happen if you take the action you've been suppressing? Is the answer really that bad?

What's the best thing that could happen? Focus on THAT and take action! 

Being courageous will lead you to greater success, experience and happiness in the end. So, get out of your comfort zone and start enjoying the rewards of being courageous :)

Living a High Performance Life: ENERGY

The second area of high performance is energy. It seems like hear so many people complaining about being exhausted, stressed, overwhelmed. This is awful! If we don't have enough energy, we can't be our best for our family, friends, career and ourselves. We want to sustain high levels of energy so we an be motivated to achieve our goals and be happy.

How's your energy level? If it's not good, what's sucking the energy out of you? It could be poor nutrition, lack of proper sleep, or stress.

If you are eating processed, sugary or fried foods, you must have feelings of being bloated, lethargic and just plain crappy. Sick to whole foods—they give us the nutrients we need for vitality.

If you aren't getting enough quality sleep, you're paying for it—whether you believe it or not. We need 7-8 hours. I hear many people say they're "fine with only 5 hours of sleep". Despite those claims, they're not. Studies have shown that lack of proper sleep causes negative effects—both physically and mentally. Even people that are confident they "are fine" with fewer hours have performed worse on cognitive tests than when they had the full 8 hours.

If you need to be up by 6:00 am, figure out how to be in bed at 10:00 pm. And, make sure your bedroom is is conducive to getting a good night's sleep. Your room should be dark and cool. Your bed should be comfortable. Make sure you've turned off your phone and laptop/ipad off so that you don't hear dinging through the night.

Are you stressed? Why? What can you do to alleviate your stress? Some stress-reducing activities are: meditation, deep breathing techniques, exercise, getting a massage, playing with a pet, discussing  your stress with therapist, friend or loved-one. It's vitally important to address your stress. Studies have shown that stress not only takes a toll on us emotionally, but physically as well.

Energy is a key component to living a High Performance Life. Take some time to think about what adjustment you can make to give yourself more energy so you can feel better, be your best and live a High Performance Life :)

The Saboteurs

 

These are my exercises saboteurs. They're VERY cute, but nonetheless, they're manipulative saboteurs :)  When I exercise in the house, they appear right where I'm about to exercise—in all their cuteness, usually with a toy—wanting me to play with them, rather than do my workout. It takes some willpower to stick to my routine.

Saboteurs come in lots of forms and you might not even have thought about the ones in your life. Sometimes the people closest to us sabotage our efforts to make changes, even if those changes are in our best interest.

I hear about this a lot from my fitness clients. One client who is trying to lose an enormous amount of weight tells me stories of his wife bringing him cookies when he's already gone up to bed and making dinner plans that conflict with his scheduled training sessions. Another client's friend tried to convince her to cancel her training session and go shopping. The stories go on and on.

It's tough to create a new habit when you don't have a support network; and, it's REALLY frustrating to have your family and friends make it even harder.

If the people who are sabotaging your efforts are close to you, you need to have a serious conversation with them. Explain that what you're trying to do is really important to you. It would be great if they want to join you in your efforts, but if they don't want to, they still need to respect what you're doing. Support would be wonderful, but at the very least, they shouldn't be trying to sway you.

If you don't see those people often or you aren't close to them, you probably just need to avoid them—at least for now, while the habit is something you're still struggling with.

Lastly, find people who are also committed to the same thing(s) you are and connect with them—either in person or online. Support & accountability are keys to success. Making change is hard. You don't need to (& shouldn't) do it alone!

Feel free to share your struggles. And, I'd love to hear your stories of success :)

Starting Over

Being in my 40s, it seems like most of my peers have already started over, or are just starting over—in their careers and/or marriages. Some of us have had the luxury of initiating the change. Some of us did not. Either way, starting over is hard.

Some of us are filled with excitement and optimism. Some of us are filled with fear and anxiety. Some us feel like pioneers and are exhilarated. Some of us feel like failures and are ashamed. Most of us feel a mixture of emotions.

I remember when I was in my early 20s and complaining about my job, my mother told me "don't worry, this is probably only your first career". She told me that everyone she knew wound up doing something different than they started doing when they first started working. That was not what I wanted to hear.

My mother had not only made a career change, she was divorced—which meant she had started over twice. Most of the parents of the people I had grown up with were also divorced. So, a "starter career" and "starter marriage" weren't out of the realm of possibilities for me.

But in your early 20s, you are naive enough to think that you know what you want and are making the best decisions. You only envision yourself having a successful career and marriage. You don't yet know people who have become disillusioned, unfulfilled and willing to start over after they have spent 10, 20, or 25 years doing something or being with someone. You can't imagine that. You may know someone older that has made a career change. You may have heard that the odds are against the successful marriage. But, you think you're different.

Then, you find out you're not different. And, you think about starting over.

Starting over is hard, but TOTALLY DOABLE. Whether you're starting over with something like an exercise program, diet, school, or something as big as a career or marriage, commit to making the change, stay focused and look forward and keep moving on your new path. You can do it. You control what you do now. Don't think about the past as time lost or as something that you failed at. Think about what you learned from the past and make your future BETTER.

Living a High Performance Life: CLARITY

The first area of high performance is clarity. This refers to being really clear about who we are, who we want to be, the directions we want to go, and how we want to interact with others.

This sounds so basic and IT IS! We're talking about our identity and what we do on a daily basis. But, it's something most of us don't give much thought to. We're so busy getting tasks done or putting out fires every day, that we don't think out the bigger picture of our lives. Some of us do set goals, but without defining our larger framework, we may work towards and achieve goals that aren't totally in line with where we want to end up.

Once you have a clear vision of your identity and purpose, you can use that clarity to guide all of your decisions. You'll be more productive because you'll be focused on doing things that serve your best self and that are leading you towards achieving your life's goals. You won't be distracted by the things that aren't serving your mission.

Take some time to give this some serious thought. It may take some soul-searching. You may come to some difficult conclusions. You may realize you need to distance yourself from some activities or people that are distracting you. But, in the end, it'll be worth it! You'll be living a high performance life: motivated, fulfilled, happy and energetic :)

Living a High Performance Life

I'm back from getting certified as a High Performance Coach and am so excited to share what I learned! As a High Performance Coach, I will work with people to help them reach their fullest potential to achieve prolonged satisfaction and happiness.

It seems like I'm constantly hearing people talk about feeling stressed, overwhelmed, tired and unfulfilled. How depressing! Yes, life can be challenging, but that doesn't mean that we can't still be productive & enjoy it. REALLY.

It takes introspection and mindful action, but we all CAN live a life of FULFILLMENT and JOY—in all areas: personal & professional relationships, career, personal life. This is what we (at the High Performance Institute) refer to as a "High Performance Life".  It is achieved by reaching high levels in 5 key areas:

1. Clarity
2. Energy
3. Courage
4. Productivity
5. Influence

I hope you all agree that even if you are doing pretty well in these areas, you can always go to a higher level. The world's most successful people constantly push themselves to reach even higher levels.

I will briefly talk about each of these 5 key areas in upcoming posts, so be sure to check back soon :)

Feeling Grateful Every Day

Memorial Day is a time for gratitude. We show our gratitude and respect for the soldiers who have risked, those that continue to risk, and those that have sacrificed their lives in order to protect us and our freedom.

There are other days and events that make us feel truly grateful for what we have—our family, friends, health, opportunities. But, more often than not, that feeling of gratitude is fleeting. When a health scare or accident occurs we make resolutions to not take people / things for granted, to take better care of ourselves / others, etc. We are focused for a short while, but then the stresses and annoyances of life get in the way and we lose sight of all that we have to be thankful for.

Oprah Winfrey said that starting her gratitude journal is the single most important thing she’s ever done in her life—and we all know how much she has accomplished! Each night, for almost 20 years, she’s written down 5 things she’s grateful for.

If you focus on what you have, you’ll have a feeling of having more and you’ll be happier.

Try it. Write down just 3 things you are grateful for each night. There ARE things to be grateful for each day—EVEN IF you had a really crappy day or are going through a difficult time. They can be the SMALLEST things or gestures, like someone holding the door open for you, a chat with a friend, or a sunny day.

Also, look at things that seem like negatives and try to find something positive that came out of them. For example, maybe your car broke down, but as a result, a friend picked you up, so you got to spend some quality time with her. 

Writing them down is key. It makes you really focus on the things. And, if you make it a habit to do this at the end of the day, you’ll be focused on noticing the positives in your life throughout the day.

When you start to “look on the bright side of things” that optimism will not only make you HAPPIER, but it will help you be better able to deal with setbacks and feel LESS STRESS—sounds good all around, doesn’t it? :)

Be Nice To Yourself

Negative self-talk increases stress, limits potential and causes negative effects to the brain. It actually creates a vibration that destroys brain cells. Crazy! I’ve been trying to be conscious of my negative self-talk recently. It’s quite alarming how often I’m guilty of it.

Any negative thoughts stimulate the release of destructive neurochemicals. Even saying something flippant like, “I’m an idiot” when I get home from the grocery store & realize I forgot something I needed is something to note. The more we engage in negativity, the more difficult it becomes to stop.

So, if you are prone to beating yourself up (like I am), you have some work to do. Join me and give yourself a break and focus on the positives. Once we do, we can enjoy the benefits of: less stress, better health, increased confidence, more happiness, and better coping skills—among other things. Sounds worth the effort, doesn’t it? :)

It's 4:00 pm, Do You Know Where Your Willpower Is?

Do you find it harder to resist treats later in the day? 

Do you find you are less motivated to keep to your workout routine as the day goes on?

It’s not just you. And, it’s not just your health & fitness that is affected as the day goes on.

Studies have shown that we have willpower in limited supply. And, that willpower is used all day long. You may have started using it the second your alarm clock went off —you really wanted to stay in bed, but you made yourself get up. You use it to fight distractions all day. You make yourself focus on work rather than surf the web all day. You pass on the donuts someone brought to the office or resist eating the cookies you made for your kids. Maybe you bite your tongue when someone says something that angers you.

By the time it’s 4:00 pm, you’re experiencing “decision fatigue”. The willpower you used was actually a choice you made that sapped your mental energy. Decision fatigue affects everyone. Studies have shown the negative effects on the decisions of judges, doctors, people on a diet & athletes as the day/game goes on. The more decisions we make, the more we deplete our “cognitive budget.” After a certain point, we go for the easy choice, rather than the best one.

Sound familiar? Think about the last day you spent a day shopping. You may not have been working on the national budget, but you were making choices all day. Were you exhausted? Did you make any purchases at the end of the day that you wouldn’t have made at the beginning?

Decision fatigue may be unavoidable, but there are things we can do to help ourselves out:

1. Schedule important meetings and workouts at the beginning of the day.
2. Don't schedule meetings back-to-back.
3. Create habits. When something is a habit, we don’t have to make a decision about it. Habits spare our mental energy. For example, every time you drive to your office/school you take the same route —you don’t decide what streets to turn on as you go. Each morning when your alarm goes off, you go to the bathroom & brush your teeth. We are already doing things that help save our cognitive budget. Think about what other things you can make habits. Exercise is always a good one! Don’t deicide day-by-day if you’ll workout & what you’ll do. Make a schedule and follow it—don't think about it, just do it. Spare your brainpower :)
4. If you do wind up having to make important decisions or motivate yourself later in the day, keep in mind that decision fatigue may be affecting you. 

Make better decisions by keeping the above in mind, focusing on what you need to do, and remembering why you’re doing it.